Little Boys, Volcanoes, and Predestination

Carlos Andres: 

•   ….saying “Jessi, vea! Jessi, vea!”  (“vea” means “look”)  a hundred thousand times a day. lol    He’s a trip.  …with a lot of mad skillz that are just begging for an audience.  Like when he flips over the armchair in the living room. 20 times in a row. “Jessi, vea!  Jessi, vea!”  

• ·         Andres and I play hide-and-scare together.  (which I’m okay with as long as I’m the one doing the scaring) His terrified giggles are h.y.s.t.e.r.i.c.a.l. 

• ·         Sometimes he just sits next to me while I’m on Facebook and points to random pictures of people.  “Jessi!  Quien es esto?”  …and then he always wants to know why I’m not in the picture with my friend.  Haha

• ·         Andres came into my room this morning and randomly asked if I have a toothbrush.  I heard him last night asking his Mom about it because he didn’t want to brush his teeth and thought if I didn’t then maybe he wouldn’t have to either, I guess.   The topic has apparently been weighing heavily on his mind.  I told him I DO in fact have a toothbrush, but he didn’t believe me until I showed it to him.   So he went and got his, and we compared them. lol  Gotta love little kids.   First time I've ever done show-and-tell with a toothbrush, I have to say. 

Trip to Arenal: 

•        Buses are the most inhumane way to travel.  Torture is a pretty good word for bus rides longer than 2 ½ hours.   The ride to La Fortuna was almost double that.  Ugh.
  
• According to the map, the volcano is just past Burger King....but the map lies.  There was definitely a lot of artistic license going on there, because we walked WAY past Burger King (like two miles, in the rain), and the Volcano was lots further.   Who are these people who hire artists to draw maps?  The point is ACCURACY, not prettiness.  Hello.  lol

• ·         In La Fortuna, a man was playing “Smoke on the Water” in the park.  …..with an ocarina.  There really is a first time for everything.

• ·         Javier – (the second one I met on this trip!)  The first one sat next to me on the plane and wanted me to have his phone number in case I needed anything while I was here.  The second one wanted money to buy a beer.  Or he wanted me to buy us BOTH beers.  (We’re a little unsure on the translation there.)  Either way, I said no.
  But he’s a professional fighter, and looked like it.  Wow.  Lots of scars. 

• ·         Apparently playing cards in the park attracts a lot of attention in Latin America – whip out the playing cards, and you’ll have all kinds of friends.  Javier wondered if we gamble, and I told him we never play for money. 

• ·         SisterMaryKathryn travels light: 
  For our overnight trip, she brought:  purse, swimsuit, and….steak knife?
  Sam: You need a husband with a backpack.

• ·         I found 50 colonnes on the ground since my last post – what are we up to now?  175?  That’s about 34 cents if my math is right – enough to pay for one trip to the bathroom at the CocaCola bus station….and have a little left over.  haha
  
• Me:  Don’t even pretend like you didn’t miss me all weekend!  You know you felt sad and lonely.
  Zaqueo:  There was definitely some kind of feeling….. 

The trip to the Arenal was a bit of a let-down because it decided to rain the whole time we were there, and the volcano wasn’t really even visible because of all the clouds covering it.   Very sad.
However, Sam, Jordan, SisterMaryKathryn and I managed to entertain ourselves and it was okay.   Good thing the hotel room only cost me $10 or I might have been a little more upset.
Note to self: next time, check the weather report before riding 4 hours in a bus to Arenal.  ….this may or may not work since the weather here pretty much just does whatever it wants. Haha.

Oh well.  I’ll save the volcano for my next trip to Costa Rica.    And then I’ll rent a car (or fly) instead of riding the bus! 

We’re down to the last 2 weeks of school, and I’m sad.  I need more time!!  I just paid my rent for my last 13 days, and it saddens me.    It’s interesting to see the mixed reactions in my friends – some are ready to move on to bigger and better things, but the real question is  not "Are you ready for school to be over," but “HOW WILL WE EVER LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER?!?!?”  :::::::tears::::::: 

I’ve been thinking deep thoughts about predestination this week.   Romans 9-11 is blowing my mind.
The phrase that’s grabbing me today and keeps floating around in my brain amidst Spanish verbs and pronouns is this:
“What if God…?”  (Rom. 9:22)   This one line screams at me because sometimes I fall into thinking that God is contained in the Bible:
This is God. 
This is how I know who God is. 
True, but this is not ALL of God.   God is not tame-able.  There are always “What ifs” with God because God is always BIGGER than my perception of Him.  

It’s like the speaker quoted in chapel the other day from C.S. Lewis regarding Aslan:

"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he--quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

There is always an element of danger when it comes to the character of God:  His character is a complex composite of divine hatred and divine love.    When I try to wrap my mind around that, my head hurts.  
God is unfathomable and unpredictable and that’s what makes Him dangerous.  He isn’t safe, but He IS good. 

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! 
How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!
For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been His counselor?
Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
To Him be glory forever. Amen.
(Romans 9:33-36)

As for predestination, I’m still thinking.    

Kitties, Conversations, and Costa Rican Goodness.

Church:
I love latin church services. …and they've got a SAXAPHONE on the worship team.  Come on!  :-)
I've happily been understanding MOST of the sermons at church the last two weeks.... just don't ask me to explain it to you in Spanish.  I'm so glad the pastor speaks fairly slow and uses words I know.  I write down all the words I don't know to look up later.  Gotta expand that vocabulary, you know. 

Jacó Beach is like being in Florida – everyone speaks English, and I saw a guy wearing an Indiana sweatshirt.  What?! lol  No me gusta Jaco.  WAY too many people.
Fun trip though, and gorgeous scenery out the bus window.  :-)

“Shirtless” 
When we got to our hostel in Jacó, I checked us in and came out of the office to find everyone talking to a very shirtless, very friendly dude.  We discussed this later in our room:
Jenny: “So, Emily and I thinking about taking a surfing lesson tomorrow.”
Me: “From Shirtless?”
Nate: “His name is Alan.”
Me: “If he wants to be called by his real name, he needs to not be running around shirtless at all hours of the day and night! How does he expect anyone to remember his name?”
Cindy: “Come on Nate, don’t even pretend you weren’t distracted by his pectorals.” 
::::awkward silence::::
Me: “I didn’t look, personally…. I just saw he was shirtless and averted my gaze so I wouldn’t be lustful.” lol
Nate: “I just think you should call him by his name.  He’s a person, you know. He has a NAME.”
…and then we realized he was sitting directly outside our room for the entire conversation.  Oops. roflol!

• My first stay in a Hostel.  Not bad!
• I killed cockroach #3 in my room on Monday.  
• …and I’ve found 40 more colonnes on the ground since my last blog update.  Haha!
• Maria: "I left my personality at home." 
  Me: "I noticed, but I didn't want to say anything." (she meant to say she left her flashcards for describing personalities lol)
• The neighbor’s cat likes to dance on our tin roof at night – I never thought one cat could make so much noise hopping around! Last night I heard him meowing by my bathroom skylight.  Crazy kitty. 
• Sister Mary Kathryn: "You're like a Boy Scout, ...only prettier!"   
• Playing the Spanish version of Settler's.  Yeah, you know you're jealous. ;-) 
• In conversation class:
  Rita: "Como esta?"
  Nate: "Casado."  (which means "married," not to be confused with "CANsado," which means exhausted.)
  Me: "Since YESTERDAY??"
  Rita: "Felicidades!" 

Monday, I met three new people: 
Angel, the man who cleans Parque Chino/Okayama/Japonese.  He very graciously allowed me to sit at the picnic table where he was eating lunch and talk his leg off trying to practice my Spanish.  I think he may have been slightly frightened at first, but he warmed up after a while. Lol

Carmen, a tiny elderly lady who spends most of the day walking up and down the street she lives on.  She has a dog named Blackie, and a son who lives down the street.  Sweet lady with beautiful eyes.  She repeats herself a lot, but that’s okay, ‘cause I don’t always catch what people say the first time. 

Roland, originally from CR, lives in California, home visiting his wife’s family.  I was walking by his house, and somehow ended up in a conversation with him after my normal “Buenas Tardes” greeting.  He asked if I go to the Institute, and what I plan to do with Spanish, so I shared with him a bit, and after I left, I realized I forgot to ask him if he knows Jesus.  Maybe next time. 
 
I've had some really good talks with my host family over the past three weeks, in spite of my horrific Spanish...   It's funny how conversations like this have come up so naturally, and it's not weird or strange or awkward - it just happens.  ...and afterwards I realize that I just shared the Gospel.  Crazy.  :-)
We were just watching TV on Monday (some Mexican Dr.Phil-type show) and talking about the world's problems, when Taty told me that she and her mother had been talking about how different I am from other University students who have stayed with them - I don't come home drunk, I'm not chasing men, and from the conversations we've had dating and marriage, they know I'm not a casual dater or whathaveyou.

She said I'm very different from what she knows of Americans, and wondered why.  I just told her that it's really important to me to be obedient to God's Word, and that just threw open the doors to a great conversation about the Law and Grace, and Sin and the sacrifice of Jesus.  She asked questions, and I did my best to answer with my limited conversational resources. 
Towards the end of our talk, she asked me what my objective is in learning Spanish, if I'm planning to be a missionary or what.  I told her I would love to be a missionary in Latin America, but only if God sends me, and she said (in Spanish) "You're going to make a good missionary, and you need to come help all of Costa Rica."  :-) 
I know that my pathetic vocabulary and wrong verb tenses butchered most of what I was trying to say to her, but I believe God uses my gigantic weaknesses for His glory.  Please pray for Tatianna if you think about her.  She has a lot of weight on her shoulders, and she's doing the best she can to raise her boys right.

...and that's the long way of saying it's been a good week. :-)

The end of week 2: Randomness + the Faithfulness of God.

\

·          

• Killed two cockroaches in my room so far.  2 in two weeks isn’t bad, I don’t think. 
•   Ate the first watermelon I’ve EVER liked.  …and I’ve had it three times since then.  If you know me at all, you know this is a big deal.  
•   I lost my water bottle cap last Tuesday morning.  I took the lid off, set it down in my room, and promptly forgot where I put it.  I’m still looking for it.  What on earth?  My room isn’t THAT big!!
• I tried to put soap on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste twice the same day.  I really don’t know what’s wrong with me…?
• My money-finding tradition continues – I’ve found 85 Colonnes since I’ve been here!  (about 17 cents)  I’m gonna get rich, I’m tellin’ ya!
• Cam:“The plug doesn’t fit in the outlet and it like sparks and stuff.”
  Nate:  “That doesn’t sound good – have you killed anybody?”
  Cam:  “Yes. FIVE people.  Anyways… I’m trying to figure out how to….”
  Nate:  “Wait – FIVE people?  You should probably call someone about that.”
  
• Andres:  “Jessi, tu necesitas coma mas porque tu es FLACA!”   That’s a three-year old telling me he thought I needed more than two pieces of pizza.  His grandma was horrified. Being called “flaca” isn’t exactly a compliment.  It’s like unhealthily skinny.   “Andres!  No!  She looks nice!”  He shook his head and said he didn’t think so. lol  I apparently need to eat more pizza to impress this kiddo.
• On that note:   I love my host family’s cooking – I ate 4 (count ‘em) FOUR starches for supper one night:  Rice, Mashed Potatoes, Pasta, and Chips.  Someone tell Mom I’m definitely going to put on weight while I’m here.   ;-)
• Adrienne:  “Don’t judge.”
  
• Zaqueo:  “You people know NOTHING about Canada!”
  Me:  “You’re right.  All we know is that you have Niagara Falls.  Oh, and… wait- no, that’s it.” 
  We love you Zach, we really do. ;-)  

  I am still loving Costa Rica, loving my new friends, and loving Spanish – this wonderful, frustrating, tantalizingly-close-to-me language.  I wish I had more than 4 weeks left!!  Wow.  Every week I just discover how much MORE I have to learn.  Today in Grammar class, I was just like “Oops.  Yeah, I’ve been saying that wrong the whole time.  Oh, and that too!”  …my poor pathetic grammar…. Agh! 

Went hiking on Saturday – check out my pictures on FB…. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!  I kept stopping to just sit and stare at the view.  I am constantly amazed by the amazing creativeness of my God. 
Every time I come out of the class and see those mountains, I can’t help but stop and stare.  I wonder if you ever get used to the view here? 
That hike reminded me of when we were driving through the Andes mountains in Ecuador on our way back to El Recreo from Cuenca, all of us just singing and praising God because the WHOLE EARTH is filled with His GLORY!  Wow. 

My verse for this week:  “He who has called you is faithful;  He will surely do it.”  - 1 Thess. 5:24.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where God has brought me from, and wondering where He’s taking me…. 

Everyone here is always asking the question “So, what are you going to do when you finish this course?”  Some of my friends are headed for El Salvador, some for Mexico, some for Nicaragua, some for Chile, some are staying here in CR, and I’m going…. Home.    

But you know what, that’s okay.  I’m following Jesus one step at a time, and as far as I know the next two steps are “Finish this language course” and “Go home.” 

Last week in chapel, Rob shared his and Sherry’s testimony and it just left me in tears.   I wish you could all have been there.  Wow.  I may share some of what he had to say with ya’ll sometime, but this post is already long enough, I think.  Suffice it to say that God’s timing is not our timing, and God may choose to take the next 25 years to grow my character before He decides to plant me on the mission field, or ______ (fill in the blank).  I’ve been encouraged to have faith that the One who has called me is FAITHFUL, and He’s going to fulfill His purpose in me.  For SURE.   I can rest in that promise. 

Costa Rica: Week 2

Random things:

*I hate materialism. 


* Two qualities I most admire in other people:  Honesty & Humility.  There are few things more attractive in a friend than a commitment to truth and an honest view of who God is and who they really are in the light of God's character.
The two things I most despise in myself and most react to in other people are Dishonesty and Pride. 
I hate not being able to trust people. 

* Costariccenses are BEAUTIFUL.

* I showed pictures of home to my Tica family, and Tatianna said "...but where are the mountains?!"  She thinks Ohio looks "clean."  :-)

* I miss my nieces a TON.

Quotes for the day:
Zaqueo: "A spoonful of regular verbs helps the irregulars go down.
GinnyBeth: "He's just an artistic man in a hoodie."


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Week one is over, and while this is good because it means I survived this far, it's sad because it means I only have 5 weeks left.
I'm not a fan of living in the city, but I think the sight of las montañas around the city helps.  It makes me feel a little less trapped.
I do not however enjoy nearly dying every time I have to cross the street.
Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way in Costa Rica.  My Tica family tells me that last year 700 people died trying to cross the street. That number does not include the number of people who were hit and didn't die.  This is not encouraging.
Thankfully, the Lord put me just 4 blocks from the school, and I don't have to cross any main roads to get there.  I clearly don't know how to cross the street, because it is terrifying and I've almost died more than once.  Don't try this without friends to protect you. I've had several people say to me "You don't know how to cross the street, do you?" So I only follow other people now, and never try to cross the Big Scary Road by myself.   

The family I'm staying with is absolutely the sweetest, and they have made me part of the family.  I enjoy trying to converse with them.... and they are good at using easy words I can understand and explaining to me the ones I don't know.   ...and did I mention the food is WONDERFUL?  I.love.RICE!  :-)
I have my own room and my own bathroom, neither of which I have EVER had at home in the States, so I'm very spoiled.  ...and I have a double bed.  Never had one of those either.  I'm telling you, this place is great! lol

School is going well, I think - I'm enjoying my classes, and learning new words and new ways to express things.  I'm still not very good, but am glad my level of understanding surpasses my speaking abilities or I'd really be in trouble.  Tatianna (my host "mom" - she's 32) says I'm already improving (I think she lies) and that I really don't speak Spanish with an accent, so that's good. I've always worried about being one of those people who speaks Spanish like telemarketers speak English.
This week I'm starting to feel a tiny bit overwhelmed with the sheer multitude of things I'm learning.  Like everyone at the school says, the Intensive Course is.... Intense.   I want my brain to be able to retain all of this new knowledge, but I'm scared it won't.  

God has blessed me with amazing fast friends, and I'm so grateful for each of them!  A lot of us in the Intensive Course are single versus the many many married couples in the Regular Courses, so we have banded together.  :-)   It's safe to say that I have already been blessed in a special way by each of these awesome people and I'm looking forward to 5 more weeks of this!  Gracias a Dios!

Airport Blogging

I wrote this in the Detroit airport on my way down here to Costa Rica.  Other updates to follow. Probably. ;-)

A new year, a new outlook:

I’m beginning this year with something I haven’t had in a while:  HOPE. 
I am excited for this new year and what it will bring!  I rest in the unchanging sovereignty of God, knowing that nothing will happen to me without first passing through His loving hands. 

 I will remember 2010 as the year I….
*….surrendered to God’s healing touch – holding every broken, hurting part of me up to Him to made whole, and discovering that He doesn't say no to prayers like these.
*…surrendered to God’s sovereign will for my life – refusing to make my own plans, or sit around wishing for my will to be His instead of allowing His will to be mine.
*…finally made peace with my past when God spoke to me so clearly one Thursday night last Summer and confirmed to me His hand in the difficult decisions I’ve made.  Oh my goodness – His ways are so MUCH HIGHER than mine!  I am blown away by the way He works every.single.circumstance in my life for my good and His glory!  My faith in Him has been strengthened this year.   
…this is why that Gungor song from several blog posts ago remains a theme for me.  He makes Beautiful Things out of us!

The result of these three choices has been joy, and a peace I haven’t felt in about four years.  I LOVE it!
My best friend even noticed the difference in me over the phone!  LOL   I love God, and I love what He is doing in my life.  What? Did I just say that?!  lol.  He’s amazing.

Costa Rica:  For once in my life, I have been 100% sure about a decision!   As someone who admittedly second-guesses nearly every major decision in my life, I have been at complete peace with this one.  I know God wants me to learn Spanish, and while I don’t know where He’s going with all this exactly, I know I’m in His will because He said “Go,” and I said “Yes I will!” 
I don’t know what I’m going to do with Spanish.  I have no plans, and I know some people think that’s crazy.  Why shell out money for this when I’m not immediately planning to head to the mission field?  All I can say is that it’s a step of obedience.   …and so far in my life, God has not been in the habit of showing me His entire plan all at once.  I only ever seem to have light for the very next step.  Or the next half a step.  I guess you could call it walking by faith. ;-) 

I am excited, confident, and peaceful in this decision, and committed to going with God wherever He’s headed with this.  Spanish for me could be anything from a simple tool to be a more effective encouragement to friends I already have in Ecuador to working with the Spanish population in my area to full-blown move-to-the-mission-field kind of work.  I have no idea.  …but I’m trusting, and walking straight ahead, following my most trusted Friend and Guide.  Something tells me that's a good place to be.  :-)

Baking & Birthdays

Well, I survived a crazy week - the youth group did our re-scheduled baking fundraiser over three days with limited help, and it was hard, but God is good, and we got it all done!  Praise the LORD! 
75 dozen cinnamon rolls: that's 150 pans of 6, or 27 batches.
123 dozen Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (19 batches)
70 dozen Christmas cut-out cookies, decorated.  
That equals out to about 38 hours of work in 2 1/2 days time.  Yes, my feet and legs were KILLING me!
Projected sales: $1500.00

Muchas Gracias to:
my trusty sidekick Jane, and Ang: the cookie dough mixing queens
Linz, who took off work early every day and did whatever she was told.  Or mostly. haha
Tarah & Esther who came right after school
Lesli who didn't have to come help but did anyways.  :-)
Vern & Beth - encouragers, invaluable helpers, and picker-uppers at the store of things forgotten.

Galen & Sharon and Matt & Marcus, our top sellers/deliverers
Steven, the highly skilled frosting-maker
Jared, who is QUITE marriageable, and a decent cookie froster (don't tell his mom).  He also eats trash can cookies, but don't tell anybody about that either.  :-)
Caleb who stopped in between house-showings and did odd jobs, including cookie dough taste-testing
Hannah, Melissa, Christina & Kayla - who put WAY too many sprinkles on the cookies, but hey. :-) 
Wilma & Ashlyn who came on Wednesday
Alyssa, Rochelle, Rosanna, and EVERYBODY else who stopped in whenever they could.  I know it was odd hours and you had lots of other stuff going on, but you all helped out tremendously!

The rest of the week was a little nuts... cleaned the church about five times, took care of some business, helped out at the church's Christmas Dinner Theater, and tried to get some sleep in between. This week promises to be a little less insane, but still crazy.   Oh December, I wish you'd slow down! 

Quote of the week: My niece Kayla who is "free" was following me around during the baking, asking for jobs to do.  I let her "help" as much as possible, which thrilled her to no end. She especially loves washing dishes and wearing my apron.  She looked up at me with those big eyes and said "I am your Helper, and you are my Best Friend."  Awwwwwwwwwww!  I love my little nieces!  :-)

In other news, I am now 27 years old.  I kind of like the sound of that.  Although being closer to 30 than 20 is a little intimidating, I don't wish myself back, that's for sure!  Not in a million years.  Ain't no way I wanna go through all that again!  ;-)
I was talking to my 7 year old niece the other day, and she said her favorite ages are 8 and being a baby.  She liked being a baby because she got lots of attention, and she can't wait to be 8 because it sounds like the best age ever.    I told her that my favorite ages were 3, 5, 9, 10, 11, 17 and 23.  So here's hoping 27 is right up there! lol

I wonder what the coming year will bring.  I find myself excited, yet afraid.  Change is certain: good and bad, and I wonder what will change, and how I'll deal with it. 

I've been thinking a lot about the cycle of life, and how God has created us to live such short lives - people are born, people get old and die.  Our lives overlap for a short time, but everyone and everything is constantly growing, changing, deteriorating.
My view of life is so self-focused: I'm all about me and my problems, and my own little life-span.  Hanging out with my 81 year old Grandma helps change my perspective.  She says often "I never thought I'd get this old.  I always figured I'd die before now..."  Most of us don't think we'll get old.  We joke about it, but we doubt it'll actually happen, you know?  I've never seriously considered life past 30.  Just never figured I'd make it that far!  
These thoughts have motivated me to be purposeful in my living.  I don't want to be just living.  I never want to reach the point where I live without a purpose, not doing myself or anyone else any good; just being "normal," contented with what the world has to offer.

So what is my purpose?  What does Jesus want me to be doing in this 27th year of my life? 
You know, Jesus' life was almost over when He was my age.  Did you ever think about that? Jesus was MY age, once upon a time!  He hadn't yet begun his "real" ministry, but I know without a doubt that He was still in ministry of a different sort.  Jesus wasn't just wasting his time, waiting for his "real" purpose and ministry to start.  He was always doing the will of the Father, even from a young age.  When Jesus was 27, he was very likely still living at home, working for his dad, much like me.  I wonder what He did in His free time?  I wonder how He spent His workdays...what He thought about as He did His job. How did He fulfill the will of the Father while doing all that ordinary, every-day stuff?

Sometimes I struggle to find joy in the purposes I know God has for me right now.  I want to be doing other, bigger, better things, but I find myself exactly where I've been for the past two years.  ...Not because I don't have bigger dreams or desires, but because God has not yet released me to those things. 

I know there are people who look down on me because of where I am at this point in my life.  I'm definitely not successful in the eyes of the world - living at home, no college education, no high-paying job.... shoot, I don't even have a boyfriend! lol   But since when do I care what the world thinks of me?  ;-)

I'm learning that timing is everything.  A good thing at the wrong time quickly becomes a BAD thing.  Waiting on the Lord is a discipline not easily learned.  Quieting my desires until God chooses to bring those things about is difficult for sure!  ...but even Jesus had to wait on God's timing for every event in His earthly life.  He still waits on God's timing for His return to earth.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am in complete awe of what God is doing in my life.  I don't understand it, I don't know how He's doing it, but He is growing and changing me in ways I never thought possible.  I'm not who I once was, and that's a good thing.  :-)  God is taking my heart places I never thought it would go, and while it scares the living daylights out of me, I have peace in the knowledge that I have opened myself up to the will of God, whatever it is, and that decision is never a mistake!

Okay, that's it for my long, sermon-like post.  It's okay if you didn't actually read it all. LOL

Florida, Memories, and Recent Happiness

I took a trip to Florida with my sweet Grandma and Aunt Marylou so Grandma could visit her brother who lives in Venice.  They're both in their eighties, and Grandma's memory is deteriorating so fast that it seemed like now was the time to go.
I was really proud of how well Grandma did traveling, considering her mental state and the fact that she hasn't flown since like, '84.  We made it through security without too much confusion, thank the Lord.
It was nice to get away for a while, even though it wasn't exactly *vacation.*  I really enjoyed spending time with Grandma & my Aunt, making memories that at least two of us will remember. :-)  
Hanging out at Uncle Mosie's and listening to his stories was a trip...  and my Aunt Viola is my new heroine.
Grandma didn't always recognize her brother or remember who he was for more than five minutes at a time, and that was hard.  But there were moments when Uncle Mosie would tell a story she remembered and her face would light up in recognition and she'd add her two cents to the story.  She'd say "NOW you look like my brother!  I didn't think you did before, but now I know who you are!"
 
It's hard to see Grandma so confused, but I decided long ago when Grandpa Yoder was failing that you've just got to laugh at the funny things they say or you'll spend all your time crying.  So Aunt Marylou and I answered her 500,000 questions a day about where we were,how we got there, who everyone was, when we were going home, and where she put her purse, over and over and over, and we just laughed at the funny moments.  ...there is a blessing in showing love and patience to someone who for so many years poured out all her love on us as her family.  I love my Grandma so much, and while I miss who she used to be, and the days when she knew my name, I love her for who she is now as well.  She still has her sense of humor though, and we laughed till we cried more than once that week. :-)   

This week is the second anniversary of Art Dagg's death, and he is still greatly missed and loved by those of us who knew him.  I can't believe it's been two years.
I wasn't prepared for was how hard it would be for me to go back to SW Florida again especially at this time of year.  So many familiar places, so many memories.  I had myself a good cry.  Another chance for me to offer up a part of me that hurts into God's healing hands.  Art Dagg remains one of the biggest influences on my life in the past 7 years and I am so grateful for the opportunity God gave me to be a part of his family. 
I am in awe of how God brings people in and out of my life according to His purposes. ...and while I don't always like what He's doing, I have no choice but to raise my hands in praise and say "God, I agree with what You are doing because I know it's the Best Thing, even though it doesn't feel like it."  God is sovereign!


I'm settled back in at home now and trying to catch up on all my work.  Got the combine washed up and put away last week, and ready to attack the bookwork this week in between my cleaning and baking jobs.  I WILL CONQUER my giant stack of paperwork!  I WILL!

Recent Happiness::
* Norah Jones
* My nieces
* The end of a safe harvest
* SLEEP!
* Warm, gorgeous days in November!
* Bucks win!
* SHOTGUN SEASON is coming!!  ...and I saw a nice buck the other night. Oh yeah. :-)
* God's provision
* God's continued forgiveness of my sins and His grace upon my life.  Thank you, Lord!