tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35685635560612299022024-03-21T12:40:11.451-07:00Keep On Loving"above all, keep loving one another earnestly, for love covers a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-53267266926934084762012-03-23T10:40:00.001-07:002012-03-23T10:42:07.985-07:00Last post from Costa Rica!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://americasvoiceonline.org/page/-/americasvoice/images/etch%20a%20sketch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://americasvoiceonline.org/page/-/americasvoice/images/etch%20a%20sketch.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
I leave for home on earrrly Monday morning.... planning on spending Sunday night in the airport to save money.... should be exciting! <br />
<br />
<b><br />
Changes.........</b><br />
<br />
Things I want to eat when I get home:<br />
Pancakes with peanut butter & Mrs. Butterworth's. <br />
Cheese, Crackers, & Deer Bologna<br />
Biscuits & Gravy<br />
Haystacks<br />
Mashed potatoes & Gravy<br />
Toast. The real kind that starts out as soft bread and you put it in the toaster and it comes out TOAST. <br />
PBJ <br />
Homemade bread<br />
Poptarts<br />
MEAT, in large portions larger than 2 inches in diameter. <br />
Ice cream<br />
Nickles Bakery donuts<br />
<br />
Food I'll miss most from Costa Rica:: <br />
Gallo Pinto<br />
Picadillo de Chayote<br />
Having scrambled eggs cooked in with my green beans to make them easier to get down. :-P<br />
Mangos<br />
Girasoles' carrot cake. :-)<br />
SAMUELITOS!! (a bakery chain with the TASTIEST bread.) Our favorite "fast food." <br />
Churros<br />
Coffee Coffee Coffee! ...the smooth kind, that you drink because it tastes good. NOT that bitter, nasty, caffeine-laden stuff we have in the States!<br />
<br />
I'm not looking forward to re-learning to flush my toilet paper. It takes a solid month to train yourself NOT to do this. ...and at least that long to un-train yourself. lol <br />
<br />
Something I'm not sure I'll ever get used to: </div><div class="MsoNormal">Losing electricty but still having water. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Or losing water but still having electricity. </div><div class="MsoNormal">...when you live in the country, you always lose both at the same time! </div><div class="MsoNormal">When the electricity went off this morning, I resisted the impulse to conserve water by not flushing the toilet.<br />
The other week when we were without water, I sat in my room in the dark until I realized the lights still worked!<br />
<br />
After an intense last week of school, I told my teacher my brain felt like an Etch-A-Sketch:: everything I learned felt organized and understandable, but I was afraid if I shook my head or laid down it would all be erased! ....and I'm pretty sure that's what happened, because the next day I tried to do my homework, and nothing made sense. :-/<br />
<br />
Fun plans this weekend with my bestestest Language School friend Lindy.... going to enjoy every minute! <br />
So excited about what God has been doing in my life, and what He's going to do... Had such a sweet time with Him this morning without all the electronic distractions. :-)<br />
God is ALWAYS good! Don't ever forget that!<br />
<br />
For now I'm off to town to do some last souvenir shopping and pick up bus tickets to LA PLAYA tomorrow! :-D For those of you at home, **4 DAYS!!!!!**</div><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-82098762558376194602012-03-04T14:17:00.000-08:002012-03-04T14:17:22.544-08:00Updateee.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5G73sxhK_LWFYLdmoIxHJvsyHMaWAbPvTfL_BMqgFrcP7-MfZHpxeMDuM8MacyLmqgMTwAuQi9ixVjnNH_rahE6KiIcUwoFhdZuVk3YbYlLLgY0nTfx3LMnfHRDgFchhi4Nr5Xo9blkw/s1600/DSCN0157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5G73sxhK_LWFYLdmoIxHJvsyHMaWAbPvTfL_BMqgFrcP7-MfZHpxeMDuM8MacyLmqgMTwAuQi9ixVjnNH_rahE6KiIcUwoFhdZuVk3YbYlLLgY0nTfx3LMnfHRDgFchhi4Nr5Xo9blkw/s320/DSCN0157.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Okay, so I know I've done really badly with my blog - updating this time... Sorry 'bout that! <br />
I've been jotting little tidbits down here and there, so here's a scattered version of the past several weeks:<br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">We stayed in the SHADIEST hostel ever in Punta Uva:<br />
<br />
Nicolas (owner of the Hostel):<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(grabs the nearest piece of scrap paper)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hey – all of you write your full names on this piece of paper just in case anything happens to you and people come looking for you guys. “<br />
::we look at each other skeptically::<br />
Nicolas: “Hey, one time a guy disappeared from here and they found him three days later, floating in the ocean!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just wanna know who you guys are in case something happens.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
In case something happens? Like what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like you selling us into the slave trade? <br />
<br />
<br />
My widowmaker (in-line water heater for the shower) burned up last month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Scared me to DEATH.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Flash of light, electrical POP, and here I am, standing in water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:::shakes head:::<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good thing I was wearing rubber flip flops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:-P<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
I went 2.5 weeks without hot water in my shower, and it was TORTURE. The water isn't just cold here, it's FRIGID! ...pretty sure I shaved all the goosebumps off my legs. <br />
<br />
The worst part about going to the beach is having to leave my 501 Spanish Verbs book behind because it’s too heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
I find it strange that the only news from the USA on TV the other week was of Michelle Obama doing pushups on the Ellen show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Really?<br />
<br />
Guy at the airport:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So you must be, like 21?<br />
Me: Try 8.<br />
Guy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What?<br />
Me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>*28.*<br />
Guy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WOW!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You look so young!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You must use a lot of sunscreen!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Hahhahahahhahahhahahhahahhahhaha<br />
Why yes, I do, thankyou!<br />
<br />
I'm still getting rich off of Costa Rica........ I've stopped counting how many colonnes I find on the ground. :-P <br />
<br />
High Praise:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The inlaws of my host family think I speak “Just like a tica!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>YES!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They say I don’t have an accent, so WOOT for that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>…apparently the last girl they hosted was an Israeli/American/something, and none of them could understand her. LOL<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
...and I've always been worried about being one of those people who speaks Spanish the way foreigners speak English unintelligibly. I've worked really hard not to speak with an accent so it's encouraging to hear that it's paid off. <br />
God gets the glory for any ability I have with this language, though.... there are days when I just want to scream and then give up. I think that I just can't do this, and I'll never be able to speak well. <br />
And I know that *I* can't do this. <br />
All good things come from God, and His power working in and through us!<br />
I've also discovered that "fluent" is a very fluid term. I've heard people who have lived here for YEARS use poor grammar. That is so not encouraging. :-P <br />
<br />
I'm currently taking 3 hours of tutoring a week, and doing some volunteer work at my church and hopefully in LaCarpio beginning next week. <br />
I have lots of free time right now, so pray that I use it wisely!<br />
I've been battling some discouragement and my biggest temptation right now is just to accept that I'm as good as I'm gonna get and quit. I want to give up, but I know I can't! Pray that I'll have the grace to continue and not be overwhelmed. </span></div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-37459166784563365442012-01-23T07:10:00.000-08:002012-01-23T09:08:36.845-08:00The end of the world?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9U7pRjLZ84AHUFoMbJvnftj_HP5I8_e741KiCZIsYCrtCFcJ2vR4UwFqc5Rfqgh8d9WJ_T7WA5iX7LNONdHi14lkLTAKzi8tMRYC03awi_8bOlevMh1LRrreZdY5VyslpqFCweHWNuCc/s1600/DSCN0033-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9U7pRjLZ84AHUFoMbJvnftj_HP5I8_e741KiCZIsYCrtCFcJ2vR4UwFqc5Rfqgh8d9WJ_T7WA5iX7LNONdHi14lkLTAKzi8tMRYC03awi_8bOlevMh1LRrreZdY5VyslpqFCweHWNuCc/s320/DSCN0033-1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">So, I’m in Costa Rica otra vez, for more language study. I love it, but I’m missing my family & friends back home and especially my friends from last year. It’s weird to be in a place I connect in all of my memories with certain people, and those people are not here with me. <br />
I suppose I’d have the same feeling if I visited Gator Camp now. <br />
Weirdness. <br />
I have settled back in with my host family very well, and it’s like I never left, except the boys are a year older. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> I love them, and couldn’t ask for a better family! <br />
<br />
This kind of situation brings out my introverted side. I know, I know, some of you are thinking “WHAT introverted side??” But it’s true! I do have one! Being in a country where understanding people beyond normal everyday conversation topics takes a lot of concentration, and not having close friends nearby makes me do a lot more thinking, and spend more time alone. Which, I suppose is good for me. I’m not used to that, living with my big family in our smallish house! <br />
<br />
Anyway. I feel sort of pensive tonight, and probably shouldn’t be blogging, but hey. <br />
Just a warning: I don’t promise that this will be all that entertaining. <br />
<br />
<u><b> Thoughts…</b></u><br />
So, I’ve been hearing a lot about how WWIII is going to start this year, Obama is going to enact martial law, Jesus is coming back REALLY soon and such, and I honestly can’t figure out how that knowledge (if it were true) is supposed to change my life. <br />
For instance: if the world is going to end this year or next, why am I in language school? Why do I have a boyfriend? Why do we bother to make our farm payments? Or planting a crop? Why are you in college/going to school/working at your job, buying that car, buying those shoes, etc., etc., etc. <br />
<br />
If I really believe that there is life after death, then whether the world ends next year or 200 years from now shouldn’t affect me greatly, because every single day could be my last. <br />
I could die crossing the street on my way to class tomorrow (and in San Jose, the chances of that are pretty good). I could die in a plane crash on my way home next month. In any case, I KNOW that inside of 70 years – let’s be generous and give it 80 – I WILL meet God. <br />
<br />
Does that then mean that everything I’m doing right now is for nothing? That school is a waste of time? Work is pointless? Everyone considering marriage should give up on the idea? People should stop having kids? <br />
<br />
<b>My point is</b> that I can’t know the future. God has given me His Holy Spirit, and all I can do is walk as far as He leads me. Right now, He has me studying Spanish. If the world really does end this year, and I never get to use so much as a “Hola” of my Spanish, even then, I know that what I’m doing right now is NOT a waste of time, because it is done in obedience to my Father. <br />
Wasting time would be sitting around bemoaning the state of the world, worrying about the future and wondering if I’m wasting my time. That kind of mentality can only put you in a holding pattern. Nowhere in the Bible do I read that Christians should enter a holding pattern because the world is going to end. Or that everyone who isn’t witnessing on the street corner every day is wasting their life. <br />
If you’re preaching on the street corner, who is going to witness to that man or woman you work next to every day? Has it ever occurred to you that God has placed you where you are for a purpose? <br />
<br />
If God has led you to go overseas, GO. If He has convicted you to talk to your neighbor, or the girl at the grocery store, DO IT. If God has led you to get married, by all means do so. If God has led you into your current job, work at it with all your strength until He closes that door. Has God given you a relationship? Continue in obedience as far as He leads you. Grow where He has planted you! <br />
<br />
All the while, do what you do to the glory of God. Live your faith out loud. Walk in obedience. <br />
Everything ELSE is a waste of time. <br />
<br />
“He has told you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. “ -Micah 6:8<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> </span>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-4185263898189195972011-10-21T11:17:00.000-07:002011-10-21T11:37:19.355-07:00Seven Current Favorite Songs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhED_zvXwkdVBxLj9uof_nTGJF89qUwtePZLxt5LFexozInG8SB1lSv9FvxJ5IEvmyjATP_tdn1AfOGUOjGhbkr4IUD3-XyW780kohNM4J5fo7AFWD0nUcwTT9YzdhBnwSJTbQOpsjlLiY/s1600/fall-leaves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhED_zvXwkdVBxLj9uof_nTGJF89qUwtePZLxt5LFexozInG8SB1lSv9FvxJ5IEvmyjATP_tdn1AfOGUOjGhbkr4IUD3-XyW780kohNM4J5fo7AFWD0nUcwTT9YzdhBnwSJTbQOpsjlLiY/s320/fall-leaves.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
I think music can tell you a lot about a person and what they're going through. <br />
<br />
So here you are: <b>Seven Current Favorite Songs </b>with links to YouTube. <br />
Just a warning: my taste in music has never been what you'd call.... organized. Or predictable. haha<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afgwvO5GI4Y"> "Remedy" - David Crowder Band</a><br />
This song has really taken hold of me. If you for real listen to the lyrics, you can't listen to this song without<br />
A: Singing at the top of your lungs<br />
B: Yelling "Thank you JESUS!"<br />
C: Dancing<br />
D: Goosebumps<br />
I'm gonna say all 4 of those are appropriate responses. <br />
Jesus is the <i>only</i> remedy for our messed up lives and this messed up world. He is "the One who has come and is coming again," and He will redeem it all! I've been struck by the fact that even the earth creaks and groans with the pains of old age and the expectancy of being made new by its Creator. (Romans 8:22-23)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJaHx1sVwcQ"> "Hot Commodity" - Crane & A-1 </a>Thanks to ColbyDear for this one! He sent me a text saying he thought I'd like this song. ...and I do! :-)<br />
"Watch me as I sow my seed and reap it like I'm farmin' it" <br />
"I get blessed all year long, yessir, even in Oc-tober." <br />
haha - love this. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of4fvzKnId0"> "Let Faith Arise" - Chris Tomlin</a><br />
Love all the words to this song. So much of my life experience is written in these lyrics. <br />
His arms are a fortress for the weak. He proves Himself faithful forever, even when He leads through dark places. When my frightened, hurting heart shrinks back from His touch, He gently cleanses me, restoring the faith I thought I'd lost. <br />
"Be still. There is a healer." <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR-CZYDXLmM&feature=related"> "The Other Country" - Burlap to Cashmere</a><br />
Oh my. So much I love about this one! <br />
A much-needed reminder that this life is not all there is. Not by a long shot. <br />
And how can you not just love the feel of this song? <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpATmuPr84Q"> "You Have Me" - Gungor</a><br />
"I thought I had seen the end; everything broken, but You were there." <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2X1syQlUF0"> "Creepin'In" - Norah Jones & Dolly Parton</a><br />
:-) <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLS69RS97Kc">"Restless" - Switchfoot</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h30qiH7MSHM">"Alive Again" - Matt Maher</a><br />
Lyrics in both of these songs (and I probably should have included "Late Have I Loved You" by Gungor) are taken from St. Augustine. A very wise man in love with his Lord.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #351c75; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">"</span><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace." <br />
- St. Augustine</b></span></div><br />
<br />
...and I should probably end right there, with that quote. <br />
I am, have been, and can be <i>nothing </i>apart from Christ. In the face of my own glaring sin and weakness, I am amazed by the fact that He has not hated me, has not disowned me when I fell, never stopped speaking to me or distanced Himself from me. Any distance between us has been my own doing. Any hard feelings, mine. If someone stopped speaking, it was me. If anyone gave up on the relationship, it was me.<br />
He has only ever remained <i>faithful.</i> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"> </span><b style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, <br />
that we should be called children of God." - 1 John 3:1</span></b><span style="color: #351c75;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">"</span><b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All this from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;</span></b><b> </b><i>that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. <br />
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. <b style="color: black;">We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. </b><br />
For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, that we might become the righteousness of God." -2 Corinithians 5:18-21<br />
</i><br />
You will find few people in life who will always be faithful to you. Few who will love you unconditionally. None who know every thought you've ever had, every deed you've ever done, and yet continue to love you and stand by you. <br />
No human relationship I've ever had (or ever will have) compares with friendship with God. There are a few in my life who have shown me true love and faithfulness, and I am grateful for them. But even they, the ones who have loved me best, cannot compare to THIS love that sees all, knows all, and forgives all who ask. <br />
He's the REMEDY!Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-41893086327525459752011-08-25T02:03:00.000-07:002011-08-25T02:12:19.828-07:00....and Summer fades.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAamuNvvOgeq36WjSxuPIqnwZnxsKDSLpbxBJI6RruWYzjRC6kpYA64fez102FmHYoldctkM4FJBvbQFGBFmSvRL4kHlTbDXVDb8DNnPUZRtlE3Ino3TgP5g7MeG3GB4mrGMVaTHQClFk/s1600/Tractor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAamuNvvOgeq36WjSxuPIqnwZnxsKDSLpbxBJI6RruWYzjRC6kpYA64fez102FmHYoldctkM4FJBvbQFGBFmSvRL4kHlTbDXVDb8DNnPUZRtlE3Ino3TgP5g7MeG3GB4mrGMVaTHQClFk/s320/Tractor.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
It's always hard for me to enjoy Fall weather coming on because it means Winter is close on its heels. <br />
I'm trying to learn not to complain about the cold so much, but it's just so..... COLD! <br />
When I think about grumbling, I try to remember all the reasons I'm glad that it gets cold here, and praise the One who thought of making four separate and distinct seasons. He is good. <br />
....even when I'm freezing. ;-)<br />
So here's the list I need you to remind me of every time you hear me complain:<br />
<br />
<b>Reasons I am grateful for the Winter:</b><br />
<ul><li> The cold keeps us from having all the snakes, scorpions, spiders, fire ants, chiggers, no-see-ums, and other plagues they have in the South. </li>
<li>Winter gives us farmers a chance to rest, recuperate, and TRAVEL. </li>
<li>Shotgun and Muzzleloader deer seasons are both in the winter!</li>
<li>Snow</li>
<li>Icicles</li>
<li>Everything gets remade into something new and young again in the Spring - a visible reminder of what the Gospel does for me. :-)</li>
</ul>Okay, that's all I can think of. But it's a start! <br />
<br />
I realize that in the world of blogging it's probably not exactly acceptable to blog in, say, March, and then not again until August, but hey. It's my blog, and I'll do what I want. :-P<br />
<br />
Spring planting was way late because of the ridiculous amount of rain we got, and once again we made an {almost} seamless transition from planting straight into wheat harvest. And for the third year in a row, the rain completely shut off after we got the crops in the ground. Who's in charge of that anyway? :-/<br />
<br />
The corn is pretty sad - probably won't amount to much, but there is still hope for the soybeans. <br />
God has been gracious, and it's started raining again this week after two months without any significant rainfall, and the hottest, driest July on record here. <br />
I'm okay with the HOT part, but the dry part? Not so much. Again - learning not to complain. <br />
Verses I've been trying to take to heart as I have watched the corn wither for the third consecutive year, knowing the financial pressures we'll face as a result:<br />
<br />
<i>"Though the fig tree should not blossom,</i><br />
<i>nor fruit be on the vines,<br />
the produce of the olive fail<br />
and the fields yield no food,</i><br />
<i>the flock be cut off from the fold</i><br />
<i> and there be no herd in the stalls,</i><br />
<i><b>yet I will rejoice in the Lord;</b></i><br />
<i><b>I will take joy in the God of my salvation.</b><br />
God, the Lord, is my strength;</i><br />
<i>he makes my feet like the deer's,</i><br />
<i>he makes me tread on my high places." -Habbakuk 3:17-19</i><br />
<br />
God must be the source of my joy. If I find my joy and fulfillment in Him, it can never be lost, no matter what my earthly circumstances! I love that.<br />
<br />
<i><b> </b></i>Part of the reason for my lack of blogging is that my thoughts and feelings have been to many and too complicated to write coherently. The Holy Spirit is still at work within me, and I am amazed by what He has done! Relationships I thought were hopeless have been restored; feelings I thought I could never let go have faded; things I thought were beyond my reach have arrived, and wisdom I thought would never be given to me has been given. <br />
God consistently does above and beyond what I could ask or think! <br />
<br />
Things are not perfect or complete - there remain broken and imperfect parts of my life, but the Restorer of all things is taking up my pieces and fitting them back together. He's not putting them together the way I thought He would, or even the way I wanted Him to, but He is creating something new with all the old, dirty, broken parts I gave up for lost. <br />
What in the world. :-)<span style="background-color: #999999;"></span><br />
<b><br />
If you read nothing else in this post, read this:</b> Looking at my life over the past several years, I am convinced that the best thing you can do for yourself is to immediately choose to recognize God's hand in the difficult places of life: accept the circumstances He has allowed, and surrender to the work He wants to do within you. <br />
When I have failed to do this, I have lived in pain, bitterness, anger and frustration. But the times I have taken advantage of God's special grace and chosen to do see Him in my circumstances, there has been joy, peace, comfort, and healing. Even within the pain. <br />
The times I have honestly told God "I don't even WANT to be healed, but I know I need to be, so get me ready for it and do it in spite of me" He has been faithful to do it. <br />
I don't know how He does, it but He's sure good at it! All it takes is my surrender.Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-38240256432202467842011-04-02T16:47:00.000-07:002011-04-02T17:51:33.988-07:00The March Blog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif8Ah56bOWW0aGS6iHbtRHAadeG-a1-rIEE1r5AKwiHTH-fUl5oRT7o5udKd5ofzPl0zvH7bEoYcSV7fG_UXBHQ3-cW4c18hXjsHAmzjxZr-J-fiUxXSoUTEVwuJvj_GI6dKnjQAq4lb4/s1600/199380_10150115808441006_517111005_6925421_7957572_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif8Ah56bOWW0aGS6iHbtRHAadeG-a1-rIEE1r5AKwiHTH-fUl5oRT7o5udKd5ofzPl0zvH7bEoYcSV7fG_UXBHQ3-cW4c18hXjsHAmzjxZr-J-fiUxXSoUTEVwuJvj_GI6dKnjQAq4lb4/s320/199380_10150115808441006_517111005_6925421_7957572_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
March in Ohio = When everyone is either <span style="color: orange;">orange</span> or<span style="color: white;"> pale</span> <span style="color: white;">porcelain</span>.<br />
I can't wait for the sun to start shining and remedy this problem on all levels. <br />
<br />
<b>Goodness:</b><br />
<ul><li><b>Puppies</b> are one of the happiest things God made. <br />
We adopted one of Lindsey's puppies to take the place of our beloved Flash who died in January. And so, "Yellow" of the color-coded puppy family has now become "Ransom" and he is the cutest fluffiest, walking-sideways little puppy you'll ever see. It's good to have a dog around here again. <br />
<br />
</li>
<li>It's that time of year again.... GIRL SCOUT COOKIE SEASON!! :-)<br />
<br />
</li>
<li>I re-discovered my hatred for being home alone after my entire family left me for most of a week TWICE this month. I enjoy the peace and quiet throughout the day, but the part I REALLY hate is coming home to a dark house. And yes, I slept with a loaded shotgun within my reach. I don't like to be alone at night. Don't judge me. <br />
</li>
<li>I also think that cooking for less than six people feels like a waste of time. <br />
<br />
</li>
<li><b>Basketball: </b>It's good to be back at the stat table for Thursday night ball. We had our annual BBall tourney fundraiser for the youth group a couple of weeks ago, and it was fun/stressful/traumatic/entertaining as usual.<u><br />
Highlights:</u><br />
* Stat table jokes and running commentaries - we really do have the most fun. ;-)<br />
* Guys who manage to have a good time even when they're not winning, and Refs who stick up for the stat team against angry Amish men. <br />
* That guy with the white shorts either needs not-white shorts or not-colored underwear. Just sayin'. <br />
* We work for Fruit Snacks!<br />
* "Sexy" passes. This is what happens when Janelle tries to do commentary after 18 games haha<br />
* And of course the advice of the weekend I already quoted in my FB status: "Don't marry anyone you haven't seen play sports." Sports really do bring out the best and the worst in people. It's always interesting to watch how different people deal with frustration.</li>
</ul><br />
So I guess I'm pretty much settled back in at home now that it's been about a month... I still wish I could be in two places (or maybe three or four) at once, and I miss my crazy amazing Spanish school friends, but I know God has us all exactly where He wants us, so I won't argue with Him. <br />
I'm still trying to work on my Spanish, but it's hard to keep up when you're not immersed in it, and especially when you're not that great at it to begin with. :-/ <br />
<br />
It's time to be getting farm equipment ready for planting, and I'm excited about that... Spring is beginning to play peek-a-boo with Northwest Ohio, and I can't wait for the trees to get leaves on them and the grass to turn green again.... in May. lol<br />
<br />
I have so many thoughts swirling around inside my head right now that I can't decide which ones to tell you about and which to keep to myself, so I think I'll just be quiet for now. :-)<br />
<br />
I'll just leave you with this: I like to listen to sermons/audiobooks while I work, and DearRachel recommended this sermon series to me <a href="http://www.nhcconline.com/category/sermon/total-marriage-fitness/">*here.*</a> You can watch them online or download the audio by clicking the link above the video. Don't be scared off by the *M-word* in the title... I highly recommend this if you're dealing with difficult relationships right now because it's valuable material for <b>all</b> relationships, marital or otherwise. Some principles are just universal when it comes to loving people and resolving conflict, know what I mean? <br />
It's also been changing some of my views on said "M-word" ...in a good way, I think.<br />
Anyways it's where I'm at right now, and God is using it in my life so I thought I'd share it with you. Take it or leave it. :-)Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-16208347138483887492011-02-23T07:47:00.000-08:002011-07-25T10:59:00.841-07:00The end?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHUwzbahCvEmBRiP24PrVD1UcAGUgm3cjR8Aufih_-poxFLRw6arV_9qpqOLUI94z-I8ZcQLD3B29qTPveLn6Nai16NpvYmyBUHOQ3c_SxPCk6JTTTN_Dcf8i5SNNpe5Yp-an1j3iHbI8/s1600/IMG_1394-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHUwzbahCvEmBRiP24PrVD1UcAGUgm3cjR8Aufih_-poxFLRw6arV_9qpqOLUI94z-I8ZcQLD3B29qTPveLn6Nai16NpvYmyBUHOQ3c_SxPCk6JTTTN_Dcf8i5SNNpe5Yp-an1j3iHbI8/s320/IMG_1394-1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
1.5 days left in this beautiful country. I have lots of mixed feelings about leaving. <br />
I mostly don't want to go home. Is that bad? <br />
I've started making a mental list of the pros and cons of going home:<br />
<br />
<b>Cons::</b><br />
<ul><li>Leaving my amazing friends. And I'm not using the word "amazing" lightly here. The work God is doing in the lives of each of these special people is phenomenal. I've made some great friendships here that I hope will continue, even after we've all scattered to the ends of the earth.</li>
<li>I need more time to practice my Spanish (and keep learning).</li>
<li>No more Sunshine.</li>
<li>No more Mangos. </li>
<li>Or tasty Costa Rican food.</li>
<li>I won't get coffee every morning, or discuss the news with Abuelita while I eat my breakfast.</li>
<li>I'm leaving behind a sweet sweet Tica family, and the most protective 3 year old boyfriend I've ever had. He saves me from all sorts of danger around here. :-) </li>
<li>I probably won't find money on the ground every day anymore. </li>
<li>No more Chapel services at the Institute. </li>
<li>No more Colonos de Catan en espanol.</li>
<li>No more going to the beach on the weekends. </li>
<li>My grocery store doesn't sell Galletas de Mantequilla. :-(</li>
<li>I have to go home to all sorts of drama that I really don't want to face again. If only all of my problems would have fixed themselves while I was away! </li>
</ul> There are more, but I'll spare you. I'm just hitting the high points here.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Pros:</b><br />
<ul><li>I get to see everyone I miss back home. </li>
<li>I'll have a cellphone again.</li>
<li>I can eat blueberry pancakes every day if I want to.</li>
<li>I'll be making money instead of spending it.</li>
<li>Spring planting will be fast approaching, and I'm itchin' to get in the field again. </li>
<li>I'll have a piano. In my house. That I can play without the entire school campus having to listen in. </li>
<li>I'll be able to DRIVE.</li>
<li>I can eat at Buffalo Wild Wings, and McDonald's has a dollar menu.</li>
<li>I can make cookies and pie and cinnamon rolls whenever I feel like it. (and even when I don't feel like it, since that's my job, LOL) </li>
<li>I can eat my normal six tiny meals a day instead of having to eat three giant meals a day.</li>
<li>CHURCH.</li>
<li>Bible Study</li>
<li>Thursday night Basketball stats! </li>
</ul>As you can see, I'm pretty evenly split. And why do most of my points have to do with food?? haha<br />
<br />
However, I know I'm supposed to head home now, even if I'm not really ready to go. <br />
I'm trusting God to give me the strength and wisdom to know what to do about my home situation, and grace to love even those who refuse to love me back. It's hard, and the last place on earth I want to be at the moment. <br />
But I am confident that God has more than enough grace to get me through it. <br />
<br />
I'm struggling to prioritize, to focus on the One Thing most important and not be distracted by all of these lesser things that threaten to steal my peace and my joy. My problems, no matter how big they seem, should never succeed in stealing away my joy. Having said that, I'm taking a deep breath, praying my heart out, and packing up my things to head home. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!<br />
<br />
Please pray for my host family - that they will know the love of Jesus for real, and be set free by the FULL truth of the Gospel. I just found out that my host "mom" has cancer, and is headed for her 4th surgery in the coming weeks, followed by a long hard year of chemo and radiation afterward. These little boys need their Mama, and I believe she's been doing a lot of spiritual seeking. My heart breaks for this family, and I want them to have God's best. <br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
The Dead Cockroach Count in my room is up to six,<br />
and the Colones on the Ground Count is up to 205. <br />
...just fyi. ;-)Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-54885385849412606332011-02-16T19:08:00.000-08:002011-02-16T19:23:37.279-08:00Little Boys, Volcanoes, and Predestination<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNiSH6-wVKSXnjBkOLqEWXWgofdxEQSmpg7StolSzHiwfdjjb7-DrsPcZOx0UQjTU5EbeHlA_WrPVRaMGpuMmscFvhcKdkGt71uaBoipVaA0AZLxu0gF3WK_P7rE3pg0iV5jGOvl7Imo/s1600/IMG_1259.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNiSH6-wVKSXnjBkOLqEWXWgofdxEQSmpg7StolSzHiwfdjjb7-DrsPcZOx0UQjTU5EbeHlA_WrPVRaMGpuMmscFvhcKdkGt71uaBoipVaA0AZLxu0gF3WK_P7rE3pg0iV5jGOvl7Imo/s320/IMG_1259.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Carlos Andres:</b><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></div><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>….saying “Jessi, vea! Jessi, vea!” (“vea” means “look”) a hundred thousand times a day. lol He’s a trip. …with a lot of mad skillz that are just begging for an audience. Like when he flips over the armchair in the living room. 20 times in a row. “Jessi, vea! Jessi, vea!” <span style="font-family: Wingdings;"></span></li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Andres and I play hide-and-scare together. (which I’m okay with as long as <b>I’m</b> the one doing the scaring) His terrified giggles are h.y.s.t.e.r.i.c.a.l. </li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Sometimes he just sits next to me while I’m on Facebook and points to random pictures of people. “Jessi! Quien es esto?” …and then he always wants to know why I’m not in the picture with my friend. Haha</li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Andres came into my room this morning and randomly asked if I have a toothbrush. I heard him last night asking his Mom about it because he didn’t want to brush his teeth and thought if I didn’t then maybe he wouldn’t have to either, I guess. The topic has apparently been weighing heavily on his mind. I told him I DO in fact have a toothbrush, but he didn’t believe me until I showed it to him. So he went and got his, and we compared them. lol Gotta love little kids. First time I've ever done show-and-tell with a <i>toothbrush</i>, I have to say. </li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Trip to Arenal:</b><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></div><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Buses are the most inhumane way to travel. Torture is a pretty good word for bus rides longer than 2 ½ hours. The ride to La Fortuna was almost double that. Ugh.<br />
</li>
<li>According to the map, the volcano is just past Burger King....but the map lies. There was definitely a lot of artistic license going on there, because we walked WAY past Burger King (like two miles, in the rain), and the Volcano was lots further. Who are these people who hire artists to draw maps? The point is ACCURACY, not prettiness. Hello. lol</li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>In La Fortuna, a man was playing “Smoke on the Water” in the park. …..with an ocarina. There really is a first time for everything.</li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Javier – (the second one I met on this trip!) The first one sat next to me on the plane and wanted me to have his phone number in case I needed anything while I was here. The second one wanted money to buy a beer. Or he wanted me to buy us BOTH beers. (We’re a little unsure on the translation there.) Either way, I said no.<br />
But he’s a professional fighter, and looked like it. Wow. Lots of scars. </li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Apparently playing cards in the park attracts a lot of attention in Latin America – whip out the playing cards, and you’ll have all kinds of friends. Javier wondered if we gamble, and I told him we never play for money. </li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>SisterMaryKathryn travels light: <br />
For our overnight trip, she brought: purse, swimsuit, and….steak knife?<b><br />
Sam:</b> You need a husband with a backpack. </li>
</ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>I found 50 colonnes on the ground since my last post – what are we up to now? 175? That’s about 34 cents if my math is right – enough to pay for one trip to the bathroom at the CocaCola bus station….and have a little left over. haha <br />
</li>
<li><b>Me: </b> Don’t even pretend like you didn’t miss me all weekend! You know you felt sad and lonely. <b><br />
Zaqueo:</b> There was definitely <i>some</i> kind of feeling….. </li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The trip to the Arenal was a bit of a let-down because it decided to rain the whole time we were there, and the volcano wasn’t really even visible because of all the clouds covering it. Very sad. <br />
However, Sam, Jordan, SisterMaryKathryn and I managed to entertain ourselves and it was okay. Good thing the hotel room only cost me $10 or I might have been a little more upset. <br />
Note to self: next time, check the weather report before riding 4 hours in a bus to Arenal. ….this may or may not work since the weather here pretty much just does whatever it wants. Haha.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh well. I’ll save the volcano for my next trip to Costa Rica. And then I’ll rent a car (or fly) instead of riding the bus! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We’re down to the last 2 weeks of school, and I’m sad. I need more time!! I just paid my rent for my last 13 days, and it saddens me. It’s interesting to see the mixed reactions in my friends – some are ready to move on to bigger and better things, but the real question is not "Are you ready for school to be over," but “HOW WILL WE EVER LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER?!?!?” :::::::tears::::::: </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve been thinking deep thoughts about predestination this week. Romans 9-11 is blowing my mind. <br />
The phrase that’s grabbing me today and keeps floating around in my brain amidst Spanish verbs and pronouns is this:<br />
<b>“What if God…?” </b>(Rom. 9:22) This one line screams at me because sometimes I fall into thinking that God is contained in the Bible:<br />
This is God. <br />
This is how I know who God is. <br />
True, but this is not ALL of God. God is not tame-able. There are always “What ifs” with God because God is <i>always</i> BIGGER than my perception of Him. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
It’s like the speaker quoted in chapel the other day from C.S. Lewis regarding Aslan: <br />
<i><br />
</i> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he--quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."<br />
"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly."<br />
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.<br />
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There is always an element of danger when it comes to the character of God: His character is a complex composite of divine hatred and divine love. When I try to wrap my mind around that, my head hurts. <br />
God is unfathomable and unpredictable and that’s what makes Him dangerous. He isn’t safe, but He IS good. </div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i>“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! <br />
How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!<br />
For who has known the mind of the Lord,<br />
or who has been His counselor?<br />
Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?<br />
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.<br />
To Him be glory forever. Amen.</i><br />
(Romans 9:33-36)</div><div class="MsoNormal">As for predestination, I’m still thinking. </div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-15282007839743438262011-02-10T20:14:00.000-08:002011-02-10T20:15:42.544-08:00Kitties, Conversations, and Costa Rican Goodness.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd_BITbk5yLoZzMtwoGH13jitoi2J_iUUsZSHZsecgOwdDBBUXhHyoVKNIMkOVrgrmhKl85-OHoQYH9tR6PiWv99juGR08w7tscs4flbYCidULeajyX6_LeVdEcLrM12IYadNMmbPFdtA/s1600/IMG_1120-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd_BITbk5yLoZzMtwoGH13jitoi2J_iUUsZSHZsecgOwdDBBUXhHyoVKNIMkOVrgrmhKl85-OHoQYH9tR6PiWv99juGR08w7tscs4flbYCidULeajyX6_LeVdEcLrM12IYadNMmbPFdtA/s320/IMG_1120-1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><b>Church:<br />
</b>I love latin church services. …and they've got a SAXAPHONE on the worship team. Come on! :-)<br />
I've happily been understanding MOST of the sermons at church the last two weeks.... just don't ask me to explain it to you in Spanish. I'm so glad the pastor speaks fairly slow and uses words I know. I write down all the words I <i>don't</i> know to look up later. Gotta expand that vocabulary, you know. <br />
<br />
<b>Jacó Beach</b> is like being in Florida – everyone speaks English, and I saw a guy wearing an Indiana sweatshirt. What?! lol No me gusta Jaco. WAY too many people. <br />
Fun trip though, and gorgeous scenery out the bus window. :-)<br />
<br />
<b>“Shirtless” </b><br />
When we got to our hostel in Jacó, I checked us in and came out of the office to find everyone talking to a very shirtless, very friendly dude. We discussed this later in our room:<br />
<b>Jenny:</b> “So, Emily and I thinking about taking a surfing lesson tomorrow.”<b><br />
Me:</b> “From Shirtless?”<br />
<b>Nate:</b> “His name is Alan.”<b><br />
Me:</b> “If he wants to be called by his real name, he needs to not be running around shirtless at all hours of the day and night! How does he expect anyone to remember his name?”<br />
<b>Cindy:</b> “Come on Nate, don’t even pretend you weren’t distracted by his pectorals.” <br />
::::awkward silence::::<br />
<b>Me:</b> “I didn’t look, personally…. I just saw he was shirtless and averted my gaze so I wouldn’t be lustful.” lol<br />
<b>Nate:</b> “I just think you should call him by his name. He’s a person, you know. He has a NAME.”<br />
…and then we realized he was sitting directly outside our room for the entire conversation. Oops. roflol!<br />
<br />
<ul><li>My first stay in a Hostel. Not bad!</li>
<li>I killed cockroach #3 in my room on Monday. </li>
<li>…and I’ve found 40 more colonnes on the ground since my last blog update. Haha!</li>
<li><b>Maria:</b> "I left my personality at home." <br />
<b>Me: </b>"I noticed, but I didn't want to say anything." (she meant to say she left her flashcards for describing personalities lol)</li>
<li>The neighbor’s cat likes to dance on our tin roof at night – I never thought one cat could make so much noise hopping around! Last night I heard him meowing by my bathroom skylight. Crazy kitty. </li>
<li><b>Sister Mary Kathryn:</b> "You're like a Boy Scout, ...only prettier!" </li>
<li>Playing the Spanish version of Settler's. Yeah, you know you're jealous. ;-) </li>
<li>In conversation class:<br />
<b>Rita: </b>"Como esta?"<br />
<b>Nate:</b> "Casado." (which means "married," not to be confused with "CANsado," which means exhausted.)<br />
<b>Me: </b>"Since YESTERDAY??"<br />
<b>Rita: </b>"Felicidades!" </li>
</ul><ul></ul>Monday, I met three new people: <br />
<b>Angel,</b> the man who cleans Parque Chino/Okayama/Japonese. He very graciously allowed me to sit at the picnic table where he was eating lunch and talk his leg off trying to practice my Spanish. I think he may have been slightly frightened at first, but he warmed up after a while. Lol<br />
<br />
<b>Carmen,</b> a tiny elderly lady who spends most of the day walking up and down the street she lives on. She has a dog named Blackie, and a son who lives down the street. Sweet lady with beautiful eyes. She repeats herself a lot, but that’s okay, ‘cause I don’t always catch what people say the first time. <span style="font-family: Wingdings;"></span> <br />
<br />
<b>Roland,</b> originally from CR, lives in California, home visiting his wife’s family. I was walking by his house, and somehow ended up in a conversation with him after my normal “Buenas Tardes” greeting. He asked if I go to the Institute, and what I plan to do with Spanish, so I shared with him a bit, and after I left, I realized I forgot to ask him if he knows Jesus. Maybe next time. <br />
<br />
I've had some really good talks with my host family over the past three weeks, in spite of my horrific Spanish... It's funny how conversations like this have come up so naturally, and it's not weird or strange or awkward - it just happens. ...and afterwards I realize that I just shared the Gospel. Crazy. :-)<br />
We were just watching TV on Monday (some Mexican Dr.Phil-type show) and talking about the world's problems, when Taty told me that she and her mother had been talking about how different I am from other University students who have stayed with them - I don't come home drunk, I'm not chasing men, and from the conversations we've had dating and marriage, they know I'm not a casual dater or whathaveyou. <br />
<br />
She said I'm very different from what she knows of Americans, and wondered why. I just told her that it's really important to me to be obedient to God's Word, and that just threw open the doors to a great conversation about the Law and Grace, and Sin and the sacrifice of Jesus. She asked questions, and I did my best to answer with my limited conversational resources. <br />
Towards the end of our talk, she asked me what my objective is in learning Spanish, if I'm planning to be a missionary or what. I told her I would love to be a missionary in Latin America, but only if God sends me, and she said (in Spanish) "You're going to make a good missionary, and you need to come help all of Costa Rica." :-) <br />
I know that my pathetic vocabulary and wrong verb tenses butchered most of what I was trying to say to her, but I believe God uses my gigantic weaknesses for His glory. Please pray for Tatianna if you think about her. She has a lot of weight on her shoulders, and she's doing the best she can to raise her boys right.<br />
<br />
...and that's the long way of saying it's been a good week. :-)Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-72456915322854242772011-02-01T20:04:00.000-08:002011-02-01T20:06:41.295-08:00The end of week 2: Randomness + the Faithfulness of God.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScmUqnCcmgSP7_SoC3yrgntnIvfEj74-GbKEDvKbxdgWHnwBXsTqFE-HZfF9UUFCgebn2s-Jc8hDs8Qhf8p8eBIyRgH2R2DZxynyErQWKcPyo23f0RUmSc5HENFP2eAvmJdStCDtzA1Y/s1600/IMG_1205-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScmUqnCcmgSP7_SoC3yrgntnIvfEj74-GbKEDvKbxdgWHnwBXsTqFE-HZfF9UUFCgebn2s-Jc8hDs8Qhf8p8eBIyRgH2R2DZxynyErQWKcPyo23f0RUmSc5HENFP2eAvmJdStCDtzA1Y/s320/IMG_1205-1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"></span>\</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span> </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><ul><li>Killed two cockroaches in my room so far. 2 in two weeks isn’t bad, I don’t think. </li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Ate the first watermelon I’ve EVER liked. …and I’ve had it three times since then. If you know me at all, you know this is a big deal. <span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>I lost my water bottle cap last Tuesday morning. I took the lid off, set it down in my room, and promptly forgot where I put it. I’m still looking for it. What on earth? My room isn’t THAT big!!</li>
<li>I tried to put soap on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste <b>twice</b> the same day. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me…?</li>
<li>My money-finding tradition continues – I’ve found 85 Colonnes since I’ve been here! (about 17 cents) I’m gonna get rich, I’m tellin’ ya!</li>
<li><b>Cam:</b>“The plug doesn’t fit in the outlet and it like sparks and stuff.”<br />
<b>Nate:</b> “That doesn’t sound good – have you killed anybody?”<br />
<b>Cam:</b> “Yes. FIVE people. Anyways… I’m trying to figure out how to….”<br />
<b>Nate:</b> “Wait – FIVE people? You should probably call someone about that.”<span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> <br />
</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b>Andres:</b> “Jessi, tu necesitas coma mas porque tu es FLACA!” That’s a three-year old telling me he thought I needed more than two pieces of pizza. His grandma was horrified. Being called “flaca” isn’t exactly a compliment. It’s like unhealthily skinny. “Andres! No! She looks nice!” He shook his head and said he didn’t think so. lol I apparently need to eat more pizza to impress this kiddo.</li>
<li>On that note: I love my host family’s cooking – I ate 4 (count ‘em) FOUR starches for supper one night: Rice, Mashed Potatoes, Pasta, and Chips. Someone tell Mom I’m definitely going to put on weight while I’m here. ;-)</li>
<li><b>Adrienne:</b> “Don’t judge.”<br />
</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b>Zaqueo:</b><b> </b> “You people know NOTHING about Canada!” <b><br />
Me:</b> “You’re right. All we know is that you have Niagara Falls. Oh, and… wait- no, that’s it.” <br />
We love you Zach, we really do. ;-) </li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>I am still loving Costa Rica, loving my new friends, and loving Spanish – this wonderful, frustrating, tantalizingly-close-to-me language. I wish I had more than 4 weeks left!! Wow. Every week I just discover how much MORE I have to learn. Today in Grammar class, I was just like “Oops. Yeah, I’ve been saying that wrong the whole time. Oh, and that too!” …my poor pathetic grammar…. Agh! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Went hiking on Saturday – check out my pictures on FB…. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!! I kept stopping to just sit and stare at the view. I am constantly amazed by the amazing creativeness of my God. <br />
Every time I come out of the class and see those mountains, I can’t help but stop and stare. I wonder if you ever get used to the view here? <br />
That hike reminded me of when we were driving through the Andes mountains in Ecuador on our way back to El Recreo from Cuenca, all of us just singing and praising God because the WHOLE EARTH is filled with His GLORY! Wow. <br />
<br />
My verse for this week: “He who has called you is <b>faithful; </b> He will <b>surely</b> do it.” - 1 Thess. 5:24.<br />
I’ve been thinking a lot about where God has brought me from, and wondering where He’s taking me…. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Everyone here is always asking the question “So, what are you going to do when you finish this course?” Some of my friends are headed for El Salvador, some for Mexico, some for Nicaragua, some for Chile, some are staying here in CR, and I’m going…. Home. </div><div class="MsoNormal">But you know what, that’s okay. I’m following Jesus one step at a time, and as far as I know the next two steps are “Finish this language course” and “Go home.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Last week in chapel, Rob shared his and Sherry’s testimony and it just left me in tears. I wish you could all have been there. Wow. I may share some of what he had to say with ya’ll sometime, but this post is already long enough, I think. Suffice it to say that God’s timing is not our timing, and God may choose to take the next 25 years to grow my character before He decides to plant me on the mission field, or ______ (fill in the blank). I’ve been encouraged to have faith that the One who has called me is FAITHFUL, and He’s going to fulfill His purpose in me. For SURE. I can rest in that promise. </div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-63453675023173251992011-01-25T19:49:00.000-08:002011-04-02T18:05:19.847-07:00Costa Rica: Week 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSgPBQlsGuzIHrZOib6uOPP3WcB8iUIE1zdusVcM-jeOVk27H5KGkztyVGLXfDWEvBtLZmh2WCixVUD-FcFWgykAVnu26mMUYClujXA1iSkF02qQUW667Sh5oNLzJh5LZRfCKlH33_Is0/s1600/IMG_1116-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSgPBQlsGuzIHrZOib6uOPP3WcB8iUIE1zdusVcM-jeOVk27H5KGkztyVGLXfDWEvBtLZmh2WCixVUD-FcFWgykAVnu26mMUYClujXA1iSkF02qQUW667Sh5oNLzJh5LZRfCKlH33_Is0/s320/IMG_1116-1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Random things:<br />
<br />
*I hate materialism. <br />
<br />
<br />
* Two qualities I most admire in other people: Honesty & Humility. There are few things more attractive in a friend than a commitment to truth and an honest view of who God is and who they really are in the light of God's character. <br />
The two things I most despise in myself and most react to in other people are Dishonesty and Pride. <br />
I hate not being able to trust people. <br />
<br />
* Costariccenses are BEAUTIFUL.<br />
<br />
* I showed pictures of home to my Tica family, and Tatianna said "...but where are the mountains?!" She thinks Ohio looks "clean." :-)<br />
<br />
* I miss my nieces a TON.<br />
<br />
Quotes for the day:<br />
<b>Zaqueo: </b>"A spoonful of regular verbs helps the irregulars go down.<br />
<b>GinnyBeth: </b>"He's just an artistic man in a hoodie."<br />
<br />
<br />
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*<br />
<br />
Week one is over, and while this is good because it means I survived this far, it's sad because it means I only have 5 weeks left. <br />
I'm not a fan of living in the city, but I think the sight of las montañas around the city helps. It makes me feel a little less trapped.<br />
I do not however enjoy nearly dying every time I have to cross the street. <br />
Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way in Costa Rica. My Tica family tells me that last year 700 people died trying to cross the street. That number does not include the number of people who were hit and <i>didn't</i> die. This is not encouraging.<br />
Thankfully, the Lord put me just 4 blocks from the school, and I don't have to cross any main roads to get there. I clearly don't know how to cross the street, because it is terrifying and I've almost died more than once. Don't try this without friends to protect you. I've had several people say to me "You don't know how to cross the street, do you?" So I only follow other people now, and never try to cross the Big Scary Road by myself. <br />
<br />
The family I'm staying with is absolutely the sweetest, and they have made me part of the family. I enjoy trying to converse with them.... and they are good at using easy words I can understand and explaining to me the ones I don't know. ...and did I mention the food is WONDERFUL? I.love.RICE! :-)<br />
I have my own room and my own bathroom, neither of which I have EVER had at home in the States, so I'm very spoiled. ...and I have a double bed. Never had one of those either. I'm telling you, this place is great! lol<br />
<br />
School is going well, I think - I'm enjoying my classes, and learning new words and new ways to express things. I'm still not very good, but am glad my level of understanding surpasses my speaking abilities or I'd really be in trouble. Tatianna (my host "mom" - she's 32) says I'm already improving (I think she lies) and that I really don't speak Spanish with an accent, so that's good. I've always worried about being one of those people who speaks Spanish like telemarketers speak English.<br />
This week I'm starting to feel a tiny bit overwhelmed with the sheer multitude of things I'm learning. Like everyone at the school says, the Intensive Course is.... Intense. I want my brain to be able to retain all of this new knowledge, but I'm scared it won't. <br />
<br />
God has blessed me with amazing fast friends, and I'm so grateful for each of them! A lot of us in the Intensive Course are single versus the many many married couples in the Regular Courses, so we have banded together. :-) It's safe to say that I have already been blessed in a special way by each of these awesome people and I'm looking forward to 5 more weeks of this! Gracias a Dios!Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-5354267611335747022011-01-21T20:46:00.000-08:002011-01-21T20:46:50.550-08:00Airport Blogging<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN8b9pXRPMOIT5AwIueCDTip9r4sR4W9m0vP_8ig5DKtHu2h1hvnhpkAf_hMTr4c4vGbQqoceQtj3UEVEvbhi_QKUjH8_f35-M5WFeVSfp1nJ_iOc4bq5ZbeMwDM8Tg5dLSeoKgUXDC7w/s1600/Costa+Rican+Flag.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN8b9pXRPMOIT5AwIueCDTip9r4sR4W9m0vP_8ig5DKtHu2h1hvnhpkAf_hMTr4c4vGbQqoceQtj3UEVEvbhi_QKUjH8_f35-M5WFeVSfp1nJ_iOc4bq5ZbeMwDM8Tg5dLSeoKgUXDC7w/s320/Costa+Rican+Flag.gif" width="320" /></a></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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I wrote this in the Detroit airport on my way down here to Costa Rica.<span> </span>Other updates to follow. Probably. ;-) <span style="font-family: Wingdings;"><span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">A new year, a new outlook:</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m beginning this year with something I haven’t had in a while:<span> </span>HOPE.<span> </span><br />
I am excited for this new year and what it will bring!<span> </span>I rest in the unchanging sovereignty of God, knowing that nothing will happen to me without first passing through His loving hands.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>I will remember 2010 as the year I….<br />
*….surrendered to God’s healing touch – holding every broken, hurting part of me up to Him to made whole, and discovering that He doesn't say no to prayers like these.<br />
*…surrendered to God’s sovereign will for my life – <i>refusing</i> to make my own plans, or sit around wishing for my will to be His instead of allowing His will to be mine. <br />
*…finally made peace with my past when God spoke to me so clearly one Thursday night last Summer and confirmed to me His hand in the difficult decisions I’ve made.<span> </span>Oh my goodness – His ways are so MUCH HIGHER than mine!<span> </span>I am blown away by the way He works every.single.circumstance in my life for my good and His glory!<span> </span>My faith in Him has been strengthened this year.<span> </span><br />
…this is why that Gungor song from several blog posts ago remains a theme for me.<span> </span><i>He makes Beautiful Things out of us!</i><br />
<br />
The result of these three choices has been joy, and a peace I haven’t felt in about four years.<span> </span>I LOVE it!<br />
My best friend even noticed the difference in me over the phone!<span> </span>LOL<span> </span>I love God, and I love what He is doing in my life.<span> </span>What? Did I just say that?!<span> </span>lol. <span></span>He’s amazing.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Costa Rica:</b> <span> </span>For once in my life, I have been 100% sure about a decision!<span> </span>As someone who admittedly second-guesses nearly every major decision in my life, I have been at complete peace with this one.<span> </span>I know God wants me to learn Spanish, and while I don’t know where He’s going with all this exactly, I know I’m in His will because He said “Go,” and I said “Yes I will!”<span> </span><br />
I don’t know what I’m going to do with Spanish.<span> </span>I have no plans, and I know some people think that’s crazy.<span> </span>Why shell out money for this when I’m not immediately planning to head to the mission field?<span> </span>All I can say is that it’s a step of obedience.<span> </span>…and so far in my life, God has not been in the habit of showing me His entire plan all at once.<span> </span>I only ever seem to have light for the very next step.<span> </span>Or the next half a step.<span> </span>I guess you could call it walking by faith. ;-)<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">I am excited, confident, and peaceful in this decision, and committed to going with God wherever He’s headed with this.<span> </span>Spanish for me could be anything from a simple tool to be a more effective encouragement to friends I already have in Ecuador to working with the Spanish population in my area to full-blown move-to-the-mission-field kind of work.<span> </span>I have no idea.<span> </span>…but I’m trusting, and walking straight ahead, following my most trusted Friend and Guide. Something tells me that's a good place to be. :-)</div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-23267500765830825732010-12-14T16:32:00.000-08:002010-12-14T16:32:20.745-08:00Baking & Birthdays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRR3gC5-hRsSwXHJltnOPbHrBaiJnJLdznl5Cun7Yp7A9EXbeOaczR_l8-WsZ3CQp1W5uMQ34JJBjNgTvU8nxpKCItAy5e-nR3rx8Q2b5nd3Ek-geCOUGHbSIPjTpoPW9uDRrm8AbsRzs/s1600/cookies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRR3gC5-hRsSwXHJltnOPbHrBaiJnJLdznl5Cun7Yp7A9EXbeOaczR_l8-WsZ3CQp1W5uMQ34JJBjNgTvU8nxpKCItAy5e-nR3rx8Q2b5nd3Ek-geCOUGHbSIPjTpoPW9uDRrm8AbsRzs/s1600/cookies.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, I survived a crazy week - the youth group did our re-scheduled baking fundraiser over three days with limited help, and it was hard, but God is good, and we got it all done! Praise the LORD! <br />
75 dozen cinnamon rolls: that's 150 pans of 6, or 27 batches.<br />
123 dozen Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (19 batches)<br />
70 dozen Christmas cut-out cookies, decorated. <br />
That equals out to about 38 hours of work in 2 1/2 days time. Yes, my feet and legs were KILLING me!<br />
Projected sales: $1500.00 <br />
<br />
Muchas Gracias to: <br />
my trusty sidekick <b>Jane</b>, and <b>Ang</b>: the cookie dough mixing queens<br />
<b>Linz</b>, who took off work early every day and did whatever she was told. Or mostly. haha<br />
<b>Tarah</b> & <b>Esther</b> who came right after school<br />
<b>Lesli</b> who didn't have to come help but did anyways. :-)<br />
<b>Vern & Beth</b> - encouragers, invaluable helpers, and picker-uppers at the store of things forgotten.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> Galen & Sharon</b> and <b>Matt & Marcus</b>, our top sellers/deliverers<br />
<b>Steven</b>, the highly skilled frosting-maker<br />
<b>Jared</b>, who is QUITE marriageable, and a decent cookie froster (don't tell his mom). He also eats trash can cookies, but don't tell anybody about that either. :-)<br />
<b>Caleb</b> who stopped in between house-showings and did odd jobs, including cookie dough taste-testing<br />
<b>Hannah, Melissa, Christina & Kayla</b> - who put WAY too many sprinkles on the cookies, but hey. :-) <b><br />
Wilma & Ashlyn</b> who came on Wednesday<br />
<b>Alyssa, Rochelle, Rosanna, and EVERYBODY else</b> who stopped in whenever they could. I know it was odd hours and you had lots of other stuff going on, but you all helped out tremendously!<br />
<br />
The rest of the week was a little nuts... cleaned the church about five times, took care of some business, helped out at the church's Christmas Dinner Theater, and tried to get some sleep in between. This week promises to be a little less insane, but still crazy. Oh December, I wish you'd slow down! <br />
<br />
Quote of the week: My niece Kayla who is "free" was following me around during the baking, asking for jobs to do. I let her "help" as much as possible, which thrilled her to no end. She especially loves washing dishes and wearing my apron. She looked up at me with those big eyes and said "I am your Helper, and you are my Best Friend." Awwwwwwwwwww! I love my little nieces! :-)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
In other news, I am now 27 years old. I kind of like the sound of that. Although being closer to 30 than 20 is a little intimidating, I don't wish myself back, that's for sure! Not in a million years. Ain't no way I wanna go through all that again! ;-)<br />
I was talking to my 7 year old niece the other day, and she said her favorite ages are 8 and being a baby. She liked being a baby because she got lots of attention, and she can't wait to be 8 because it sounds like the best age ever. I told her that my favorite ages were 3, 5, 9, 10, 11, 17 and 23. So here's hoping 27 is right up there! lol<br />
<br />
I wonder what the coming year will bring. I find myself excited, yet afraid. Change is certain: good <i>and </i>bad, and I wonder what will change, and how I'll deal with it. <br />
<br />
I've been thinking a lot about the cycle of life, and how God has created us to live such short lives - people are born, people get old and die. Our lives overlap for a short time, but everyone and everything is constantly growing, changing, deteriorating. <br />
My view of life is so self-focused: I'm all about me and my problems, and my own little life-span. Hanging out with my 81 year old Grandma helps change my perspective. She says often "I never thought I'd get this old. I always figured I'd die before now..." Most of us don't think we'll get old. We joke about it, but we doubt it'll actually happen, you know? I've never seriously considered life past 30. Just never figured I'd make it that far! <br />
These thoughts have motivated me to be purposeful in my living. I don't want to be just <i>living.</i> I never want to reach the point where I live without a purpose, not doing myself or anyone else any good; just being "normal," contented with what the world has to offer.<br />
<br />
So what <i>is</i> my purpose? What does Jesus want me to be doing in this 27th year of my life? <br />
You know, Jesus' life was almost over when He was my age. Did you ever think about that? Jesus was MY age, once upon a time! He hadn't yet begun his "real" ministry, but I know without a doubt that He was still in ministry of a different sort. Jesus wasn't just wasting his time, waiting for his "real" purpose and ministry to start. He was always doing the will of the Father, even from a young age. When Jesus was 27, he was very likely still living at home, working for his dad, much like me. I wonder what He did in His free time? I wonder how He spent His workdays...what He thought about as He did His job. How did He fulfill the will of the Father while doing all that ordinary, every-day stuff?<br />
<br />
Sometimes I struggle to find joy in the purposes I know God has for me right now. I want to be doing other, bigger, better things, but I find myself exactly where I've been for the past two years. ...Not because I don't have bigger dreams or desires, but because God has not yet released me to those things. <br />
<br />
I know there are people who look down on me because of where I am at this point in my life. I'm definitely not successful in the eyes of the world - living at home, no college education, no high-paying job.... shoot, I don't even have a boyfriend! lol But since when do I care what the world thinks of me? ;-)<br />
<br />
I'm learning that timing is everything. A good thing at the wrong time quickly becomes a BAD thing. Waiting on the Lord is a discipline not easily learned. Quieting my desires until God chooses to bring those things about is difficult for sure! ...but even Jesus had to wait on God's timing for every event in His earthly life. He still waits on God's timing for His return to earth.<br />
<br />
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am in complete awe of what God is doing in my life. I don't understand it, I don't know how He's doing it, but He is growing and changing me in ways I never thought possible. I'm not who I once was, and that's a good thing. :-) God is taking my heart places I never thought it would go, and while it scares the living daylights out of me, I have peace in the knowledge that I have opened myself up to the will of God, whatever it is, and that decision is never a mistake!</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Okay, that's it for my long, sermon-like post. It's okay if you didn't actually read it all. LOL </div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-45164294626711856312010-11-15T08:53:00.000-08:002010-11-15T08:56:20.405-08:00Florida, Memories, and Recent Happiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqED0FfwTpPGFm_Q_Qn_30kNPxq9GZ7KIPlEkTRKO6XdzHJNXPEWwC7Z6Je6eE1afG8Q9xK9F3VT-zFIAyzcvApeSFAcseeKmEl-s_oeB4KiMretFQQWcipQtYovfud0eKDSwMUMse9gU/s1600/DSCF0686-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqED0FfwTpPGFm_Q_Qn_30kNPxq9GZ7KIPlEkTRKO6XdzHJNXPEWwC7Z6Je6eE1afG8Q9xK9F3VT-zFIAyzcvApeSFAcseeKmEl-s_oeB4KiMretFQQWcipQtYovfud0eKDSwMUMse9gU/s640/DSCF0686-1.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took a trip to Florida with my sweet Grandma and Aunt Marylou so Grandma could visit her brother who lives in Venice. They're both in their eighties, and Grandma's memory is deteriorating so fast that it seemed like now was the time to go. </span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was really proud of how well Grandma did traveling, considering her mental state and the fact that she hasn't flown since like, '84. We made it through security without too much confusion, thank the Lord.</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It was nice to get away for a while, even though it wasn't exactly *vacation.* I really enjoyed spending time with Grandma & my Aunt, making memories that at least two of us will remember. :-) </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
Hanging out at Uncle Mosie's and listening to his stories was a trip... and my Aunt Viola is my new heroine. </span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Grandma didn't always recognize her brother or remember who he was for more than five minutes at a time, and that was hard. But there were moments when Uncle Mosie would tell a story she remembered and her face would light up in recognition and she'd add her two cents to the story. She'd say "NOW you look like my brother! I didn't think you did before, but now I know who you are!"<br />
</span></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> It's hard to see Grandma so confused, but I decided long ago when Grandpa Yoder was failing that you've just got to laugh at the funny things they say or you'll spend all your time crying. So Aunt Marylou and I answered her 500,000 questions a day about where we were,how we got there, who everyone was, when we were going home, and where she put her purse, over and over and over, and we just laughed at the funny moments. ...there is a blessing in showing love and patience to someone who for so many years poured out all her love on us as her family. I love my Grandma so much, and while I miss who she used to be, and the days when she knew my name, I love her for who she is now as well. She still has her sense of humor though, and we laughed till we cried more than once that week. :-) </span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> This week is the second anniversary of Art Dagg's death, and he is still greatly missed and loved by those of us who knew him. I can't believe it's been two years. </span></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I wasn't prepared for was how hard it would be for me to go back to SW Florida again especially at this time of year. So many familiar places, so many memories. I had myself a good cry. Another chance for me to offer up a part of me that hurts into God's healing hands. Art Dagg remains one of the biggest influences on my life in the past 7 years and I am so grateful for the opportunity God gave me to be a part of his family. </span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I am in awe of how God brings people in and out of my life according to His purposes. ...and while I don't always like what He's doing, I have no choice but to raise my hands in praise and say "God, I agree with what You are doing because I know it's the Best Thing, even though it doesn't feel like it." God is sovereign!</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I'm settled back in at home now and trying to catch up on all my work. Got the combine washed up and put away last week, and ready to attack the bookwork this week in between my cleaning and baking jobs. I WILL CONQUER my giant stack of paperwork! I WILL! </span></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Recent Happiness::</span></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * Norah Jones</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * My nieces</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * The end of a safe harvest</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * SLEEP!</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * Warm, gorgeous days in November!</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * Bucks win!</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * SHOTGUN SEASON is coming!! ...and I saw a nice buck the other night. Oh yeah. :-)</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * God's provision</span><br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> * God's continued forgiveness of my sins and His grace upon my life. Thank you, Lord! </span></span>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568563556061229902.post-11987843599055895292010-10-26T19:45:00.000-07:002010-10-26T20:29:13.189-07:00Beautiful Things<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh070hWuKcKj5eZvfuAAZ7VThjV8eAeT7iHDDobJl0Kyx5rpM7_HpnxggqdQhyphenhyphenhgGieLI3HJ8y14iuC7jETm5Ek22Whjhx2ZtC995LBufo5E_jpY3td8cbHOZaB3O0KVYzyJyBdITmHrBs/s1600/photo-collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh070hWuKcKj5eZvfuAAZ7VThjV8eAeT7iHDDobJl0Kyx5rpM7_HpnxggqdQhyphenhyphenhgGieLI3HJ8y14iuC7jETm5Ek22Whjhx2ZtC995LBufo5E_jpY3td8cbHOZaB3O0KVYzyJyBdITmHrBs/s320/photo-collage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Life = Pain.<br />
It's true. <br />
If you don't believe it, then you haven't lived long enough to experience real heartache. You've never experienced the death of a loved one, watched someone dear suffer through a painful disease, felt a broken heart, lived with a handicap, struggled through serious financial trouble, or stood among your shattered dreams and cried with no one to comfort you. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
If you think life is and always will be AWESOME, then just wait. Live a few more years, sweetie. <br />
Sorry if that's depressing, but life isn't easy. Did you expect it to be? <br />
Who ever told you that life <i>wasn't</i> supposed to be hard? Jesus said, "In this world you WILL have trouble." You thought you were exempt from that?<br />
<br />
God has been teaching me some crazy lessons about life... to be honest, I've been walking through some dark days and deep waters in recent years, and I can't say I've particularly been enjoying any of it. Life has been hard. <i>Dang</i> hard. Aside from my own personal pains and problems, I've seen dear friends go through even heavier things, and that's sometimes harder for me than my own difficulties. <br />
Death. Disease. Heartbreak. Loss. Abandonment. <br />
PAIN, in short. <br />
<br />
This summer, God has been working on my heart, drawing me deeper with Him, and calling me to allow Him to bring healing in my life. I didn't want to do it. It seems to me that the healing hurts just as bad or worse than the original wound, and I wasn't really excited about having to endure any MORE pain at this point. ...but I told Him I want to be obedient to Him, and just asked Him to prepare me for healing, and to please be gentle with me and take it slow. He has been so faithful! <br />
<br />
I have been slowly learning to see the hand of God through every dark day I've walked through, every situation where I thought He (and others) had let me down. <br />
Did I really think He didn't know? Did I really think He didn't care? Did I really think any of this hit me without passing through the hands of my Father? <br />
Oh, me of little faith! <br />
<br />
True joy is not the absence of pain or trouble. The depth of joy is only known from the depths of true despair. <br />
I'm reminded of the song "Held" by Natalie Grant. <br />
How can you know the strength and security of God's arms if you've never had to lean on Him? <br />
How do you know He can catch you if you've never taken a fall? <br />
How can you know His comfort if you've never cried a tear? <br />
<br />
One of the things I love about God is that He is so very gentle. He has patiently loved me, even when I have been unwilling to allow Him to dry my tears. He has faithfully reached for me when I have hidden from His embrace, preferring to cry in the dark loneliness than to run into His arms. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
This summer, He finally got through to me the fact that He is in control, and He always has been. Even in situations where I thought I made mistakes, even through the times where the repercussions from the mistakes of others affected me so terribly, He was in control. <br />
He orchestrated every circumstance that led me to the place I am. He guides my decisions, and He stands by me when others tell me I'm crazy for the choices I've made, and when I doubt myself that I made the right choices. I finally know deep in my heart, that <i>not one thing</i> has happened to me that He did not allow and control, and that He will not use for my ultimate good and His ultimate glory. <br />
<br />
I'm learning to stop second-guessing God. <br />
I'm learning to stop beating myself up over my past and the pain I've caused other people. <br />
I'm learning to keep my heart soft even though putting up walls and cutting myself off from people would hurt so much less. <br />
I'm learning that love keeps on loving, even when I'm hated, when I'm misunderstood, and when I'm at the end of my rope with some people. <br />
I'm learning that I have no capacity to love and forgive on my own. I really don't. <b>There is no good thing in me but Jesus,</b> and His love inside me is the only love I've got. If I love anybody besides myself, then that's Jesus. If I can forgive and refuse to be bitter, that's Jesus. If I can take my bad experiences and be an encourager to someone else, that's Jesus. <br />
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He's making something beautiful out of my life, and will continue to do so as long as I will continue to fight to be surrendered. Every part of my life under His control, every situation in my life brought before His throne, every hurt in my life brought to His healing hands. I'll readily admit that I'm not good at this. I want to hide away and hold all my pain close to my heart and not let anyone see or know. Not even Him. I want to be mad at Him sometimes, but I can't stay that way. His love is too BIG, too powerful, too all-encompassing to hide from. <i>That's</i> my God. ...and if I love my God, I <i>cannot</i> withhold love from anyone else. No matter who, no matter what, no matter how much it hurts.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY&feature=related"> This song</a> describes my feelings right now and is becoming a favorite.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <br />
My God is the Restorer of things lost, the Healer of things hurting, the Rebuilder of things broken, and the Lover of all who feel unloved. I'm done holding back from Him! I <i>choose</i> to allow myself to be restored, healed, rebuilt and loved by the One who does it best. <br />
I'm ready to allow Him to take every shattered piece of me and turn it into a beautiful mosaic that reflects His glory.</div>Jessihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17870664273474979618noreply@blogger.com0